by Evan Perez

English 110 

The City College of New York

Professor Vicars

Prompts 

1/25/2023 

1.

2.My name is Evan Alejandro Perez. My first name comes from a book my dad read called “Deven”. My middle name comes from my grandfather’s name since he was the one that worked to help my family move into the United States and I was the first grandson.

3. To find your voice means to express something you care about, speak about a favorite topic, play music, or express a struggle to a friend. Something you thought about and how it’s manifested is what I call your voice.

4. The time I talked about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to my friends, it was difficult and uncomfortable but I felt it was necessary.

1/31/2023

1.

2. The time I won an argument was when a close friend of mine claimed that I had a religious belief that wasn’t true. I calmly told him that he misunderstood the claim but also that I understood where the misunderstanding came from. I then corrected him with the proper idea so that I wouldn’t create resentment but that I could defend myself.

3.

2/3/23

1.

2. Home, as cliche as it sounds, is my family. Geographically, my home is in Fort Smith, Arkansas which is mainly where my family lives, on a road called Meandering Way, a twisty/winding road with charming houses that lead to the Arkansas River. One of these houses along Meandering Way is my house. The backyard of this house is a large tree, one of the hundreds of large trees along Meandering Way. On this tree, I used to practice ace throwing, where the wood and bark would be gnawed upon by a sharp axe blade. These marks still remain today, leaving the surface necrotic looking from the past, never healing fully, just like the marks made onto my life at that point in time, the time my grandfather had passed away. That is the mark I left at home.

3. Spanish feels like home, despite me not really speaking it, English is my main language.

Feelings:  Wrong, Privileged, Isolated, Guilty, Separated, Spoiled, Shame, Stunted, Misunderstood, Sad, Ugly

I feel as if I am not Hispanic. I am relieved that I can speak English and that I didn’t have to struggle to learn English as others did, however, I’m disappointed.

2/7/2023

1.

2. Flushing, New York, January 2022. I had been working as a Computer Systems Analyst for a metal fabrication company as a full-time intern. I was still new to the city, but Flushing was very new to me. I had no friends nearby and despite being surrounded by crowds of people on the rainy Flushing streets, I was alone, completely new to this location and my surroundings. Not even the bright neon lights on Main St. could illuminate the dark feeling of not having a friend group to hang out with in person after a challenging day at work. Everyone on social media seemed to have a group and though I knew it would take some time to make friends in the city, it sucked at the moment. 

3. An artist that illuminated the darkness in my life was Aphex twin. His music spans a variety of styles from fast/intense to calm/ambient. I believe his work helped me embrace the difficulties I was facing, whether it was letting out frustration in the gym, or lying in bed and reflecting on the day and even my past mistakes and experiences.

4. 

• Why is transparency shunned/looked at as weak? Why can’t people be transparent and vulnerable without being shunned? 
• Why do people try to act like they’re too cool for you? It doesn’t cost anything to be kind (this contradicts my idea of holding back on being to nice)
• Why do people want to gatekeep things that could help others? Why can’t people include others?
• Why do people want to seem better than you?
• Why do people have no empathy?`

-Looking back on these things I have written in this list, despite me questioning them, I do the very same things to people and I think it’s because I’ve been hurt and I’m projecting that pain onto others.

2/10/23

1.

2. In writing my written narrative, I approached it without a real plan I started off with some context and how it affects me to prepare for the actual experience I was writing about, which was traveling to Honduras to meet my family and realizing I could speak Spanish. It was very easy to write about as it’s something I’ve thought about in the past. I discovered some feelings that had been hidden up until dissecting the experience in this writing, like finally not feeling alienated from my culture for example. I have a rough draft now, it could use some touching up and review but I believe it tells a good story and expresses my emotions well. I feel like I can shorten my first paragraph, but I would need someone else to read it. I’m concerned that I missed the main idea of the assignment, but I believe I am on the right track. 

3. The time I spent alone felt great. I was pushing a heavy cart full of clothes/small shelves up a hill for 10 blocks. I listened to vaporwave/DnB artists while pushing the cart at night. I felt lonely because I didn’t have help, but I also felt empowered because when I do everything alone, I get things done. 

4. I chose my narrative topic because it highlights a moment of overcoming weakness and the resolution being me feeling acceptance and love despite my past negative feelings.

2/14/23

1.

2. To me, success is defined as reaching your goals. Whether it’s a certain job, being able to pursue a hobby or being able to have stability, in anything you set to obtain/do, success is doing it. Success feels amazing, last semester I set out to get as high of a grade as I could have in my differential equations class and after lots of work I obtained it. 

On the other hand, failure means not obtaining/achieving what you set out to do. A time I failed was when I failed calculus 2 was my first time taking it. It felt terrible knowing that I could have passed if I had tried a little bit harder. It was a learning experience and taking what I had learned from why I failed into the next time I took time, I was able to do a better job and understood that things can go wrong if I don’t maintain progress. 

I developed these ideas of success/failure based on my experiences, mainly from the feelings I experienced when I fell short of goals or when I achieved them.

3. People have a fear of failure because:

• Embarrassment 
• Shame
• Discomfort
• Disappointment 
• Sadness

4. I would summit all major mountains in the world. In the absence of fear, I would create a documentary of each country the mountains are in and the culture and history of the mountains in relation to the cultures and what it takes to summit these mountains. I would make cool stuff without the fear of costs and danger.

2/28/23

1.

2.

• I believe that you can choose to be great
• I believe that you can change things about yourself
• Support of friendship
• Good days
• Bad days
• Habits
• Being proactive
• Choosing to be happy rather than waiting 
• Being kind
• Holding back on being kind

3. Authenticity is: 

-giving what you want when you feel like it is right

-doing what you want 

-reacting how you want

-It is important to be authentic because if you try to pretend, you will get exhausted

4. I was working a job and I was always told that I was a nice person. It was mainly because of my actions, I always went out of my way to help people so I gave my time and energy to be nice.

One day I was working for too many hours for my job because I wanted to help. During this shift, I lost sleep, skipped class, and drained a lot of my energy. I thought my work would be appreciated since the work I was doing was for my coworkers.

The next day, I was left to work alone with no support and under high pressure to fix issues. Because it was just me, I was slow and because of that, I was scolded by a coworker who I was always nice to and who was nice to me. I questioned my belief in being nice to people I get taken advantage of or mistreated because I’m too nice. I learned to not give so much energy in trying to show kindness but to only do so when I mean it.

3/3/23

1.

2. My room was spacious and it had a bunk bed from Ikea even though it was just me there. It had a large window to let sunlight in and the walls were painted blue like the ocean literally. We printed fish and seaweed and coral on the wall because loved the ocean. My favorite thing about my room was my Xbox. 

I remember it being a nice and quiet place away from everything. It was a place to debrief but also create imaginative worlds in my head. I remember playing some king kong video game just after dusk before being called to go to basketball practice. I remember it being safe.

3.

• I was joyful 
• I was imaginative
• I had energy 
• I had excitement 
• I was comfortable alone

-Looking back on these bullets, I still have these traits. Why do I feel like they are past tense though? What is keeping me from feelings these again to their fullest?

4. I’m curious, there is something I don’t know that can be learned or experienced. I’m adventurous, and there is something I feel like I have to explore. I’m imaginative, there are ideas with feelings that I feel like need to share or at least manifest in some way. I’m energetic, I feel like there’s something that needs color added to it, the color of electrifying excitement, prickly and spiked fear, and swirling disbelief. 

3/7/23

1.

2. As a writer, I feel I’ve improved greatly. For the past year or so, I’ve been journaling a this class had helped me dig deeper into memories and thoughts that I’ve had. There are things that I realized about myself and my past simply because I started writing about them in this class.

My Strengths are storytelling and imagination. The most valuable lesson that I’ve learned so far is that writing doesn’t need to be perfect, just write. Writing is learning and creating.

3. Things I wish to improve on in the next quarter:

-sentence structure

-descriptive writing

-grammar and spelling

3/10/23

1.

3/17/23

1.

3/21/23

1.

2. I don’t think I’ve had to write a real research paper before. I’ve only given speeches/talks on things and one of them was about black holes presenting/researching was east, but citing my sources was annoying. I think I can improve upon my ability to write things clearly.

3.

• How long is a research paper?
• What is different about a research paper?
• Will these be presented in some way to the class?
• What makes a good topic to research
• What makes a bad topic to research 
• What are important elements of a research paper? 
• What will we be graded on?
• Are there topics we can’t write about?
• Is it going to need photos?
• Is there a certain format we need to follow

4.

• Cite credible sources
• Write clearly
• Good structure

(Thesis practice)

1. What is OCD and how does it affect a person
2. OCD is a violent brain/anxiety disorder that can debilitate/ruin a person’s life
3. Time consuming, damaging (physically, mentally, emotionally), not talked about by sufferers
4. REFINE
   1. Peresonal experience
   2. Readers will learn what OCD really is aside form stereotypes
   3. OCD is very real and dangerous, OCD needs to be talked about

3/24/23

1.

2.The book Attitude 101 shaped me in a positive way using ethos and logos. There were real life examples used as credibility for key concepts as well as logical explanations for things that made me see everyday interactions differently as well as circumstances.

3. There was a time where I appealed to an audience’s emotions to get them to do something. Groups of people were exiting an event and I was tasked with handing out cards with surveys for the event, they had a chance for the event, they had a chance for free food if completed. At first they didn’t want to since I was asking them to “fill out this survey” but when I asked them “do you want free food” all of them took the cards.

3/28/23

1.

2.Free writing has helped me learn better. Not just about myself but everything 

3. The story of how my grandma and aunt and mom immigrated to the US across south america, on foot, by trolley, and truck bed. It is inspiring and I think of the tropical forests and mountains of honduras and the rocky dessert and cliff of Mexico.

4.Recently my family was finally able to sell our carwash. It makes me sad as I developed a connection to it, but its a great thing, it means we don’t have to work outside anymore.

5.I’ve seen myself get stronger in the gym since I started tracking my progress in a notebook. I’ve lost weight as well. It feels good knowing that the little things I do everyday add up to positive results.

6. A long term goal I have is to get a Data Science/Software Enginering job at a bank/finance related company. This is long term because I have to study a lot for the coding interviews and they can get very tricky. A short term goal I have is to pass my classes this semester. Every semester for the past few semesters I’ve dropped some classes so if I can avoid that habit, then it will make me a better student.

7.I believe people should be able to have access to therapy and everyone should go. It helps people understand themselves, helpes release negative energy, can save/transform someone’s life

4/4/23

1.Missed Freewrite time, late to class

2. 

• Spring feels like joy, winter disappearing feels like sadness is dying
• Spring feels like green, winter disappearing feels like blue to green
• Spring feels like warmth, winter disappearing feels like ice cubes melting
• Spring feels like a smile, winter disappearing feels like forgiveness
• Spring feels like lemonade, winter disappearing feels like iced coffee
• Spring feels like light linen, winter disappearing feels like a heavy coat closet
• Spring feels like feathers, winter disappearing feels like sunrise 
• Spring feels like sunlight, winter disappearing feels like smeared paint
• Spring feels like air conditioning, winter disappearing feels like removing blanket covers
• Spring feels like in person interaction, winter disappearing feels like ending a phone call
• Spring feels like tennis shoes, winter disappearing feels like storing boots away
• Spring feels like flowers, winter disappearing feels like dead trees dying
• Spring feels like aloe vera, winter disappearing feels like taking out the trash
• Spring feels like turning on a lamp, winter disappearing feels closing a box

3.

A clear sky, with rays of sunlight indistinguishable against one another, beaming down to expose that which was hidden in the cold, ushered down from the sun by hope. With a piercing jab, shame and sadness are snuffed out by skewers of light. As Noah saw the dove of first glimmer, a new day. 

Winter is a force, demanding to be fear by the cold it brings by making us layer up and stay indoors. The days are shorter and the dark is always around the corner. Most times, these circumstances can snake one feel the need to hide.

Spring is a feather, a welcoming figure of hope and joy. A nimble spectacle of redemption and growth, the warmth it brings instills forgiveness and strength. Though we hid ourselves and were scathed by the bitter winter breeze when we were exposed, spring is the gentle figure to reassure and nurture. 

4. Spring Playlist

• “Wasteland Baby” – Hozier
• “Wings of Kyraneth” – Oblivion Soundtrack
• “Safe and Sound strings cover” – Vitamin string quartet

4/18/23

1.I choose not to share this freewrite

2. My subject as evolved greatly, at first I wanted to write about what OCD is, but soon my paper evolved to what OCD is and why mental helath needs to be spoken about more. I have spent a couple hours researching in total, I was surprised to see many resources on OCD but also its been easy as most of my writing is from my own knowledge. I believe my piece has changed from a sloppy informative to a more structured educative and call to action piece. I feel good about this paper, I have a full draft but want to improve it.

3.I’ve discovered that before any editing, my voice feels inconsistent but intense. 

4. Im looking forward to adding more resources to provide credibility to my stance and wish to make my writing more consistent with less intensity. 

5. 

• Editing helps you see your thought from outside of yourself
• Editing can help you catch mistakes that weren’t so easy to see before
• Editing makes you rethink your writing 
• Editing give you an opportunity to try something new
• Editing helps your brain resurface new information that was not present before

6.

Lethargic and heavy, but also intense and productive.

4/21/23

1.

2. 

A person that changed my life is my friend Grayson. Grayson is a guy of many interests and hobbies. He is very intelligent, but he is humble and unapologetically passionate is exploring new things.

He hyper fixates on a topic/hobby until he knows it well, then naturally, he will be gravitated towards something new. Grayson has taught me to truly enjoy life, appreciate and celebrate others, but also have self-assurance in his own life and trajectory. He’s taught me to choose to be happy and to never wait for the moment to start something. I wish to be more like Grayson and from the start we have always been similar, but he is my inspiration to enjoy life and focus on doing well in whatever it is I’m interested.

3.This month, I’ve changed the way I see things. I’ve changed the way I see things. I’ve changed from a miserable and conflicted mindset, to a happier and accepting mindset. A lot of my habits, thoughts, and social interaction always differed from the way I expected because I was unhappy. However, when I choose acceptance and happiness, everything is the way it is supposed to be if not better than I expected. This whole past year, I’ve become happier and because of that, other aspects of my life improved. 

4. The process on my second draft was short, I added some citations and wrote an extra paragraph to explain something further. I discovered that I need to provide more credible evidence and convincing material. For a third draft, I would like to rephrase some ideas in order to make it more concise.

4/28/23

1.

2.

My memory of technology was when I was around 1 or 2. I remember our house had a big boxy desktop computer that was s faded white/beige color. It had the original microsoft logo on the screen. 

I remember the keyboard being fun to paly with and seeing my parents use it. I remember the originally windows 95 logo when it turned on. It was strange and it makes me feel nostalgic. It feels weird being able to remember that far back, it feels so quiet and peaceful.

3. I’m heavily connected to technology not just in my everyday life, but also in my career and my studies. I’m learning more all the time but simultaneously, I feel disconnected and like an outsider

4.

Pros: easier to learn with, easier to share ideas/be inspired, connection to people, beneficial to others/jobs,do more.

Cons:can remove people from real life, addicting, complicated to learn about, expensive, a necessity

5.The internet can help share your voice with others and hel you see how your voice differs from others. 

6. I would turn my research into a short film. I believe through imagery and storytelling, I would convey my argument better.

5/2/23

1.

2. Beauty is something temporary

• The seasons
• A bright sunset after a storm
• Family
• Friends
• Memories
• Present experiences 
• Your youth
• Plants
• Struggle 
• joy

3. 

Struggle is beautiful. But if struggle is a negative thing, how can it be beautiful? Beautiful things are temporary, they only exist for a certain time. When we struggle, it is, usually because we are trying to make something better. To make something better, something has to be sacrificed and the there is a conflict to engage in. The reason struggle is beautiful is because no matter how intense or damaging it was there will be moments after we finally make something better, where we will look back with gratitude and even a bit of nostalgia for our time of struggle.

4.

For teh end of the school year, I wish to push myself and enjoy that experience. I want to get high grades in all my classes. My stress levels aren’t bad. I can make time go more smoothly my sticking to my good habits and improving them. My concerns are not doing as good as I want.

5/5/23

1.

5/9/23

1.